When thoughts are given words, something changes. They become language. They become real. And once they are spoken, they can have an impact far beyond what we imagined.
I didn’t know any poets.
Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew of poets. But, if I am honest, the word poet conjured up names like Shakespeare, Yeats, Wordsworth and Keats. You know, the famous poets who are mostly dead and have been for quite some time.
Then Thola Moore opened her session at the PSA SA KZN Chapter meeting last night and burst into poetry.
I was moved. The words, the rhythm, the flow and the emotion were nothing short of amazing. Here was a contemporary poet standing in front of us, using words not simply to entertain, but to challenge, confront and connect.
Thola was our guest speaker and her topic was Owning Your Story. The challenges we face may shape our story, she reminded us, but they do not have to write the ending.
She shared a deeply personal story of rejection after declaring that she had epilepsy when applying for a role. Once she made that declaration, the application was effectively closed, with a polite, “Thank you, but no thank you.”
Rather than allowing that experience to define her, Thola used it as fuel. It motivated her to speak out and ultimately brought her back to the stage, where she could challenge perceptions through performance and poetry.
If we are going to own our story, Thola suggested that we need to do four things: Observe, Witness, Name and Nurture.
First, Observe. Look honestly at your story. You cannot own what you refuse to acknowledge. And, let’s face it, there are things within all of us that we would rather not acknowledge because they make us uncomfortable, vulnerable or even ashamed. Owning our story requires us to look at all of it, not just the parts that make us feel good.
Then Witness. Recognise your growth. Don’t spend all your time dwelling on the mistakes. Look back and notice how far you have come. Become a regular looker-backer, but don’t dwell there. There is value in looking back when it helps us recognise how much we have grown.
Next, Name. Name what comes next. Move from, “This happened to me,” to, “This happened to me, and now what will I do?” Our past can inform the direction of our next step without controlling it. What has happened to us is part of our story, but it does not have to determine what happens next.
And finally, Nurture. What story are you nurturing in your life? Because the stories we repeatedly tell ourselves matter. They shape how we see ourselves, what we believe is possible and, ultimately, how we choose to act.
From there, Kerry Jones took us from story to action with her session, From Bottleneck to Breakthrough.
Kerry is an empowerment coach who loves helping people become “unstuck”. Her session challenged us to think differently about goals and, more importantly, about what might be getting in the way of achieving them.
She broke it down into four areas: Clarity, Capability, Consistency and Core Identity.
Clarity asks, What do I really want, and why?
Capability asks, Am I equipped to achieve it?
Consistency asks, What habits and systems will support me?
And Core Identity asks, Who do I need to be to achieve it?
I particularly loved Kerry’s focus on moving people from limiting beliefs to freeing assumptions.
Because sometimes the thing holding us back isn’t actually our capability. It is the story we have constructed about what is possible. We can become so convinced that a particular belief is true that we stop questioning it. We assume the bottleneck is a permanent part of who we are, rather than something we can examine and change.
A bottleneck is not a verdict on your future.
And perhaps that is what stayed with me most from the evening.
Our stories matter. The words we use to describe what has happened to us matter. But so do the words we choose for what happens next.
Thola reminded us that we can own the story that shaped us. Kerry reminded us that we can challenge the assumptions that keep us stuck.
And somewhere between the two is the power of finding the words, giving them a voice, and then deciding what we are going to do with them.
Lastly, a reminder to all PSA SA members to sign up for the PSA SA Mid-Term Convention, Make Your Move: The Speaker’s Gambit, taking place virtually on 20 and 21 October. With an exciting line-up of speakers, it promises to be another great opportunity to learn, connect and be inspired. I hope to see you there!
Written by:
Sarah Swainson
